cool word: bifurcate

So, I’m reading Women, Faith, And Work How Ten Successful Professionals Blend Belief. Specifically, I’m reading the chapter on Goldie Rotenberg: Real-Estate Attorney. The author, in describing Goldie’s life as a Hebrew Christian, mentions her involvement with “a mission devoted to evangelism among Jewish people” and how it

“has helped maintain her sanity in her bifurcated world.”

bifurcated.

Never used this word. I am compelled to look it up. I could be using this word. It could be just the word I need someday when discussing something that is bifurcated. Things could be bifurcated and I wouldn’t even know it.

“Adjective: bifurcate ‘bI-fur`keyt

1. Resembling a fork; divided or separated into two branches
“the bifurcate appendages of an arthropod”
- biramous, branched, forked, fork-like, forficate, pronged, prongy

Verb: bifurcate ‘bI-fur`keyt

1. Split or divide into two

2. Divide into two branches
“The road bifurcated”

Derived forms: bifurcated, bifurcating, bifurcates

cool word.

And the examples are great. My favorite is: “the bifurcate appendages of an arthropod”

So, let’s see.  How can incorporate the use of this word in my daily life? The next time I have to describe a particular road leading to my house, I can use the example given above:

“When you turn onto McStreet, the road immediately bifurcates. Stay to the right.”

THAT will make the directions so much clearer. What else, what else? Hmmm.

“Honey, will you hang the new bird feeder up right where the branch bifurcates?”

What? He’s my husband. I can mess with him if I want to. Besides, the geek probably know what it means. He used to read the dictionary for fun, for crying out loud.

And how about:

“We all put on our bifurcated clothing one leg at a time.”

or

“Let’s bifurcate the work so we can finish more quickly.”

and one that sure to be understood around here:

“FavoriteSon? Bifurcate that piece of chocolate cake and share it with your sister.”

I’m open to more suggestions. Anyone?

an sill air ee

Why have I never used this word?

ancillary

The definition at http://dict.die.net adj reads:

“relating to something that is added but is not essential”

Encarta even has a button to click if you need to hear the proper pronunciation. (sounds like “an sill air ee” with the emphasis on the “an”)

The encarta.msm.com definitions are:

“1. subordinate: in a position of lesser importance

2. providing support: providing support for somebody or something, e.g. nontechnical assistance to people who work in an industry or profession”

cool word.

dict.die.net noted an example of use taken from Webster’s Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913) (despite what my son might say – 1913 is a little before my time):

“The Convocation of York seems to have been always considered as inferior, and even ancillary, to the greater province. –Hallam.”

yeah.

All the usage examples I found were so . . . serious. Boring.

How about a more light hearted example? Like maybe:

The ancillary fruit topping on the brownie completely ruined my craving for chocolate.

or how about,

My house is sinking due to an overload of ancillary paper.

or maybe,

It’s the ancillary fat on my body that’s the problem.

I’m definitely going to start using this word more often.

voice mail is a tool.

Last quarter I posted (ranted) about my biggest cell phone pet peeve.

I have another one.

Why do people have to answer the phone EVERY time it rings? Is it not your phone? Your life? Do you not have voice mail? Why? Why? Why?

I have a cell phone. It’s not like I don’t get calls. But here’s my cell phone etiquette:

If I’m actually involved in a conversation with someone face to face and my phone rings, I subtlety look at the caller id (seriously, everyone has caller id), then:

If I don’t recognize it, I let it go to voice mail and continue talking with the person standing in front of me.

If I recognize it, I think: is this a possible emergency? Is it my kid’s school? A family member? If not, I let the call go to voice mail. If it is a possible emergency, I say “I”m sorry, excuse me, this is XXX and I need to make sure everything is okay.” Then answer it, and if possible, ask the person if I can call them back.

If I’m expecting a call when I begin a face to face? At the beginning of the conversation, I say, “I’m expecting a phone call I really need to take, so if my phone rings while we’re taking, . . . “

Take back your life. Talk on the phone when YOU want to. Treat the person in front of you like they’re important. Make them feel important by continuing to talk with them – even if your phone rings.

We can hear you.

Why?

Why do people talk so loudly on cell phones? Why do they think that it’s okay to talk on a cell phone anywhere?

There is a place and a time.

My biggest cell phone pet peeve?

People who talk on their cell phone at a restaurant table.

My husband and I disagree on this one, so the (forced) compromise is that when he’s at a restaurant table with me, he takes his little crackberry phone to the lobby or outside with the smokers to talk on the cell. Either that or he becomes increasingly distracted from the phone call because of all the gesturing I’m doing. (Making a phone out of my hand and then fingers walking. Or even better, using my little phone hand to HANG UP.)

Step two is major “FACE” when he doesn’t move it. He hasn’t ever stayed at the table long enough for Step 3 – me making up embarrassing and overhearable comments, like “are you ordering ANOTHER drink? What is that? Six?” or “Is that the jerk you were telling me about?”

He’s never pushed me that far. I think he suspects step three. He knows me. I’m annoying that way.

What do I do to strangers who talk on their cell phones at a restaurant table?

I listen.

VERY obviously. Nodding the head. Shaking the head. Pretending to laugh at the funny stuff. Commenting to others about what I just heard.

Hey. If you don’t want me to join in the conversation, don’t make me a part of it.

read from the outside in.

I used to read all books chronologically. Start on page one and move forward from there. It worked. It was . . . fine.

But last summer, I enrolled my son in a $300 speed reading course and the instructor was kind enough to let me sit in the back of the room and “wait” instead of dropping off and picking up my son. So essentially, I got to audit the course for free.

Wow. What a difference.

I still read fiction chronologically, but now I read non-fiction very differently. There are two goals:

The first is most important to me: To improve reading comprehension and retention. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve remembered something I’ve read and thought to myself, “WHERE did I read this?” Worse yet, how many times I’ve remember only part of something I’ve read, but can’t seem to recall the context or the information completely or accurately.

The second goal is to increase my reading speed. For me, that’s an on again off again thing because sometimes I do just want the information in my head already. But often, I just want to sit down with a cup of coffee, breathe and . . . really savor a book and that stolen quiet time).

To condense hours of class instruction and numerous examples, here’s how I read non-fiction now:

Step 1: I read the Table of Contents and the Prologue of a book.

Step 2: Let’s say I’m reading a chapter at a time. I go straight for the last page of the chapter to see if the author summarized it for me. Are there any questions for thought back there? See, if I have an preliminary idea of the main points of the chapter before I even begin, the explanations and supporting stories within the chapter are that much easier to understand as I go. I also peruse the chapter for bold words and section headings. This allows me to have an overview of the order the information will be presented while calling to attention the prominent terminology and/or concepts.

Step 3: NOW I read the chapter. If I want to actually read faster, I use my hand to sweep under the words from left to right and increase my reading speed. I don’t reread. I trust that I got it the first time. Most of the time I’m right. Rarely do I really need to read something again. It’s the rhythm of the sweeping motion of your hand that propels you forward. Time yourself. It’s amazing.

Step 4: Tell backs. You review what you’ve just read. Tell backs can be in whatever format you want them to be. The instructor of the speed reading course used his voice mail for tell backs. He calls himself and summarizes what he just read. This helps solidify the information in two ways. First, by verbally repeating the information and then by listening to it later. I use giant index cards as bookmarks and record page numbers and a few words to remind myself of interesting points. Later, I pull out the index card and the book and type quotes or concepts into a word processing document. That way, I can search the document content of an entire folder to find what I’m trying to remember. I’ve also begun typing keywords at the top of the first page to help the search process.

A book I found that supported these concepts and really helped as well is “The Evelyn Wood Seven-Day Speed Reading and Learning Program” by Stanley D. Frank.

My son’s speed reading class and this book have changed the way I read, improved my comprehension and understanding, and allowed me to find and recall much more easily.

Go for it.

intention is irrelevant

I wanted to reach through the television, take her hand, look her in the eye and sincerely apologize for this unfair truth. She didn’t want to have to “choose her words” or be judged by them. She wanted her intentions to be recognized. She wanted her heart to be seen. She felt victimized by those who judged her unfairly. The amazing thing was that after 6 weeks of portraying a black woman, it was these feelings that gave her an inkling of what it feels like to be black and she didn’t seem to recognize it.

48 year old Carmen Wurgel had spent 6 weeks living as a black woman for the documentary series, “Black. White.” While she consciously and intellectually recognized and could discuss the differences and difficulties she experienced – both as a black woman and as a white woman trying to understand a black woman – she failed to recognized that the feelings she had as a white woman – misunderstood by a black woman – was just a small representation of how blacks feel when they are discriminated against. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. She wasn’t being judged based on who she was as a person. She was being judged based on someone else’s perceptions. She was being judged.

The documentary also featured Rene, a black woman, who spent the same six weeks living as a white woman. This unfair truth I mentioned is that Rene didn’t filter what Carmen said through Carmen’s intentions. Rene filtered Carmen’s words through Rene’s perspective, which has been decades in the making. Everything Rene has experienced has contributed to her perspective. Rene expects to be discriminated against because she has been discriminated against so often in her life – beginning when she was very young.

Carmen expects to be understood and judged by her intentions. She doesn’t expect that she will be misunderstood or discriminated against because she doesn’t experience discrimination on a regular basis and – most importantly – probably didn’t experience invalidating discrimination as a young child.

This means Carmen does have to “choose her words.” She has to consider what she says and how others will interpret those words. For anyone who has seen the basic communication model, we’re talking about endcoding and decoding.

So what about Rene? What responsibility does she have in her relationships with people of a different race? Is it everyone else’s job to make sure they don’t say something to offend her? Does she have any responsibility to consciously recognize her own prejudices against whites?

And she has them. It this case, Rene is prejudiced against Carmen. Simple statements like, “There she goes again!” are evidence of that. Rene has seen Carmen exhibit some behavior and expects to see it again.

I have some prejudices – recognized or not. So do you. I’m not just talking about racial prejudices. What about religion? Politics? Socioeconomic differences? Age? Gender? Even parenting methods. The list is huge.

My responsibility is to consciously and constantly challenge my preconceived ideas. To approach people and situations with an open mind, not an expectation to be followed by disappointment or in some cases, righteous indignation. My responsibility is to give people the benefit of the doubt. To attempt to empathize with someone who is different from myself. Why did they say that? Why did they do that? My responsibility is to look for the things we have in common because it’s far easier to latch onto one difference and make it overshadow everything else than to make an effort to communicate – really communicate – with another person.

That’s my responsibility. That’s Rene’s responsibility That’s Carmen’s responsibility. That’s your responsibility.

That’s our responsibility.

“Irregardless” is too a real word. The spell checker didn’t pick it up!

Regardless, Irregardless, Regardless, Irregardless, Regardless, Irregardless

Is it a real word or isn’t it? Well . . . I don’t use it. You decide for yourself.

“Irregardless” appears the heaviest and oldest dictionary I own, a 1967 Random House Dictionary of the English Language, The Unabridged Edition:

“Usage. IRREGARDLESS is considered nonstandard because it is redundant: once the negative idea is expressed by the -less ending, it is poor style to add the negative ir- prefix to express the same idea. Nonetheless, it does creep into the speech of good English speakers, perhaps as a result of attempting greater emphasis.”

In my 1979 Webster’s New World Dictionary of the American Language, the definition reads:

“adj., adv. a substandard or humourous redundancy for REGARDLESS.”

Today, Merriam-Webster Online notes that the word was first heard in American speech in the early 20th century, as early as 1927:

“Its reputation has not risen over the years, and it is still a long way from general acceptance. Use regardless instead.”

So, if it isn’t a “real” word, why does it even appear in these dictionaries in the first place? www.unwords.com has this to say:

“Although this word has only been in circulation for under 100 years, we can’t give it the privilege of being an unword because of its acceptance into the Webster’s and American Heritage dictionaries.”

www.dictionary.reference.com notes:

“. . . it has been considered a blunder for decades and will probably continue to be so.”

The word “irregardless” is in the dictionary because it’s been used for decades. Improperly used, but used nonetheless. Mostly in nonstandard speech and casual writing. It’s even used on occasion by an educated speaker.

So, why don’t I use it?

1. It’s a double negative.
2. I don’t’ care to be considered uneducated by anyone who strongly believes it isn’t a “real” word.
3. I will never be considered uneducated for using the word “regardless.” (Maybe for other things, but not for that.)
4. I’m a pragmatist. Given that regardless and irregardless are used interchangeably, why bother with both?

The moral of this little story?

Air on the sighed of caution. Regardless of your education, you might knot seam two bee educated if you’re spell checker is aloud too make your grammar decisions four ewe. Don’t lesson your credibility.

a little about yourself

“Tell me a little about yourself.”

It’s a standard interview request. An open invitation to dominate the conversation for at least one minute – give or take 15 seconds. You’ve got a potential employer’s undivided attention. A chance to call attention to the greatness that is YOU.

Do yourself a favor. Take the time to develop a stellar answer to this question.

Here are a few tips:

DON’T waste your 60 seconds relating a detailed accounting of your life:
“I was born in . . . . .” (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz)

DON’T insult the interviewer by providing a chronological listing of your previous employers and job responsibilities (Can the interviewer read your work history on your resume?):
“At my first job, I . . . . .”

DO highlight your professional accomplishments (and personal accomplishments, if appropriate):
What makes you the right person for the job? What makes you so different from the last person who sat in that chair? If you have trouble with this, ask friends, relatives, co-workers. Sometimes their objective view is clearer than our subjective view.

DO call attention to your strengths:
If you don’t know your strengths, spend some serious time discovering them. You can’t articulate them in a powerful way if you don’t even know what they are.

DO sum up by relating your short and/or long term ambitions.
When asked by a potential employer, “What do you see yourself doing five years from now?” I answered, “Your job.” They were startled until I followed up with, “I’m assuming you will have been promoted by then.” I got the job.

Finally, if you’ve already worked out a response, consider revising it. You’ve changed. Your answer, if given any thought, may be different than it was the last time you verbalized it.

This is your big moment! Take it! No rambling! Have something definitive to say – and say it with confidence.

could of have

Not again.

I’ve seen something. Again. It was in a paper turned in by a college student.

“You could of . . .”

Translated, that would be “You could have . . .”

How does this happen?

It’s actually common. Very common. I see it multiple times each a semester. Points are lost.

So what are a few points in a college class? That depends. Does a lower grade motivate someone to intentionally improve their grammar in written and spoken communication? Will anyone else even notice? Am I just too picky? Does it really matter?

I think so. When a student turns in a paper with such an error, their credibility takes a hit. I wonder, is it ignorance, carelessness, apathy, or laziness? None of those are positive words. I wouldn’t want anyone to associate me with one of those words. Especially in the workplace. In the workplace, we try to build a reputation and advance in our careers. We want to be perceived as intelligent and articulate, among other things.

They could have used a grammar checker.

Its It’s confusing!

When you provide computer training to attorneys people, you can't help but see things. I recently saw something and am compelled to provide the following information. I'm not saying an attorney could be grammatically challenged – I'm just providing the information – just as a reminder:

It's is a contraction for it is or it has.

Examples:

It's about time!

It's due next week.

Do you know if it's finished?

Its is a possessive pronoun. (Something belongs to it.)

Examples:

Crummer Graduate School? Its MBA program is the best!

The company has its own parking garage.

Where is its headquarters?

And please, please, please – don't EVER use [its'] – There is no such word.

I promise.

Still confused? Try this test:

If you can replace it[']s in your sentence with it is or it has, then use it's.

If not, use its.

Still not sure? Consider this:

Its is the non-gender version of his and her. Try replacing its with his or her in your sentence. If the sentence still makes sense grammatically then you should use its.

If you are still having trouble, remember this rule:

If you can replace the word with "it is" or "it has," use it's. Otherwise, it's always its.

posted by: Julie Stiles Mills

Why bother?

“Subscribers to the Harvard Business Review rated “the ability to communicate” the most important factor in making an executive “promotable,” more important than ambition, education and capacity for hard work.”

“What Helps or Harms Promotability?”
Harvard Business Review 42
(January-February 1964), p 14

1964? 1964? That was nearly 40 years ago. Now it’s all about technology. Right?

Fast Forward to 2002 and check out the top business school in the country – Dartmouth's Tuck School of Business. Its M.B.A. program was rated the best in the world in the second annual Wall Street Journal/Harris Interactive business-school survey. In the Journal survey, Tuck graduates got high marks for strategic thinking, communication and interpersonal skills, and ability to work well in teams.

Coincidence? Not a chance. Effective communication skills CAN be developed!!!

Are you already a “great” communicator?
    You can always be better.

Do you think people respond to you because you have charisma ?
    Or do they think you rely too much on charm and lack knowledge and/or ability?

Do you think effective communication skills are a “natural” ability?
    ANYONE can develop successful communication skills.

You can't read a book or take a class and be finished. It takes time. I've been learning and (hopefully) improving for decades and I've come to realize I will never finish. I don't want to stop learning and improving. The results are something I'm not willing to give up. Give it a shot.

posted by: Julie Stiles Mills